A controlling pastor can harm a church. Instead of guiding with love, they lead through fear and manipulation. Their leadership is marked by control rather than service. This can damage faith, relationships, and spiritual growth. The Bible warns against leaders who misuse authority (1 Peter 5:2-3).
A pastor should reflect Christ’s humility, not demand obedience. Many churches fail to recognize unhealthy leadership until serious damage is done. Knowing the warning signs helps protect both individuals and the church body. This article highlights key signs of a controlling pastor. Understanding these dangers is the first step toward biblical accountability.
Don’t Ignore These Signs of a Controlling Pastor
Not all pastors lead with humility and grace. Some misuse their position to dominate rather than serve. Jesus warned against leaders who seek power over others (Matthew 23:8-12). A controlling pastor may use various tactics to maintain control. These tactics often go unnoticed at first, but over time, they can create an unhealthy and oppressive church environment. Below are key warning signs that indicate a pastor is leading through control rather than godly guidance.
#1. Micromanaging Leadership
A controlling pastor often refuses to delegate authority. They insist on making every decision, even minor ones. This can include dictating how ministries operate, controlling church events, and interfering in personal matters. Instead of equipping others for leadership, they keep all power to themselves. This goes against the biblical model of leadership, which encourages shared responsibility (Exodus 18:21-23, Ephesians 4:11-12). Healthy church leadership involves trusting and empowering others, not micromanaging every detail.
Micromanagement stifles growth. When a pastor refuses to let others lead, members feel powerless and unvalued. This creates dependency rather than maturity in faith. In contrast, Jesus entrusted His disciples with responsibilities (Luke 10:1-3). The early church also appointed leaders to share the work (Acts 6:1-7). A pastor who does not allow others to serve freely is more concerned with control than biblical leadership.
#2. Isolation of Church Members
A controlling pastor often discourages members from outside influences. They may warn against listening to other preachers, leaving the church, or even spending time with certain people. They create an “us vs. them” mentality, making members feel that only their church has the truth. This is a dangerous tactic that fosters dependency and prevents people from growing spiritually through broader biblical teaching (1 Corinthians 3:4-5).
Healthy churches encourage fellowship with the larger body of Christ. Paul often spoke about the unity of believers across different churches (Ephesians 4:4-6). No single pastor or church has a monopoly on God’s truth. When a pastor isolates members, they are more interested in maintaining control than promoting spiritual growth. If a pastor discourages relationships outside their influence, it is a red flag.
#3. Manipulating Emotions
A controlling pastor may use guilt, fear, or shame to influence behavior. They might say that questioning them is the same as questioning God. They may use exaggerated warnings of God’s judgment to force compliance. This is spiritual abuse and goes against biblical teaching. God calls leaders to guide with love, not intimidation (2 Timothy 1:7, 1 John 4:18).
Manipulation creates a toxic environment where people feel afraid to speak up. Instead of being led by the Holy Spirit, members are driven by fear of disapproval. Jesus never manipulated people into obedience; He led with truth and grace (John 8:31-32). A pastor who controls through emotional pressure is not leading as Christ did.
#4. Constantly Overriding Authority
A controlling pastor does not respect other leaders. They override elders, deacons, and ministry leaders, making every decision themselves. This behavior contradicts the biblical structure of church leadership, which includes multiple overseers (Titus 1:5-9, Acts 14:23). When one person holds all the power, accountability is lost, and abuse can occur.
God designed the church to function with shared leadership. Even the apostles worked together and sought counsel from others (Acts 15:6-29). A pastor who refuses to listen to wise counsel or rejects accountability is acting in pride, not humility. If a church has leadership in name only, but the pastor always makes the final decision, the structure is unhealthy.
#5. Demanding Unquestioning Loyalty
A controlling pastor expects absolute loyalty. They discourage questions and see disagreement as rebellion. They may claim that leaving the church is disobedience to God. This is dangerous because it places the pastor in a position that belongs only to Christ. True spiritual authority is based on truth, not blind obedience (Acts 17:11, 1 Corinthians 11:1).
Healthy leadership welcomes accountability and questions. The Bereans in Acts 17:11 were praised for examining Paul’s teachings. A godly pastor should encourage people to seek truth, not demand personal loyalty. If a pastor treats disagreement as betrayal, they are more interested in control than biblical leadership.
#6. Controlling Finances
A controlling pastor often keeps a tight grip on church finances. They may refuse to share financial reports, discourage accountability, or use church funds without oversight. This is a serious red flag, as biblical leadership requires transparency and good stewardship (2 Corinthians 8:20-21). A church’s finances should be handled with integrity, involving trusted leaders to ensure honesty and accountability.
Financial secrecy can lead to misuse of church funds. In contrast, the early church handled money openly, appointing responsible individuals to distribute funds properly (Acts 6:1-6). When a pastor controls finances without accountability, they are acting more like a dictator than a servant leader. Members have a right to know how their tithes and offerings are used, and any attempts to hide this information should be questioned.
#7. Restricting Freedom of Thought
A controlling pastor discourages independent thinking. They may insist that only their interpretation of Scripture is correct and warn against reading or listening to other teachings. This creates a culture of dependence where members rely solely on the pastor for spiritual guidance. The Bible, however, calls believers to test all teachings against Scripture (1 John 4:1, Acts 17:11).
God wants His people to grow in wisdom and understanding. When a pastor discourages questions or alternative viewpoints, they are suppressing spiritual growth. Healthy churches encourage critical thinking and personal study of God’s Word. A pastor who fears members thinking for themselves is not leading them to maturity but to dependence on their authority.
#8. Setting Unrealistic Expectations
A controlling pastor often places heavy burdens on members. They may expect extreme devotion, excessive church involvement, or financial sacrifices beyond what is reasonable. These unrealistic demands can lead to exhaustion, guilt, and burnout. Jesus, however, offered rest and encouraged His followers to take His yoke, which is light (Matthew 11:28-30).
True discipleship involves commitment, but it should never become oppressive. Paul warned against legalism and unnecessary burdens (Galatians 5:1). If a pastor pressures members into constant church work or makes them feel guilty for not doing enough, they are leading with control, not grace. A healthy church allows room for rest and personal responsibilities outside of ministry.
#9. Judging or Criticizing Members
A controlling pastor often uses harsh criticism to maintain control. They may publicly shame members, make them feel unworthy, or constantly point out their flaws. This behavior fosters fear and insecurity, rather than encouraging spiritual growth. Scripture teaches that correction should be done with gentleness and love (Galatians 6:1, Colossians 3:12-14).
Judgmental leadership creates an unhealthy church culture. Instead of feeling supported, members feel afraid to fail. Jesus corrected people with truth but also with grace (John 8:10-11). A pastor who constantly criticizes rather than builds up is not reflecting Christ’s love. Churches should be places of encouragement and restoration, not environments of fear.
#10. Controlling Personal Relationships
A controlling pastor may try to dictate who members can associate with. They may discourage friendships outside the church or interfere in personal relationships. This can even extend to telling members whom they can marry or whether they should cut off family ties. Such control is a sign of spiritual manipulation, not biblical leadership. The Bible emphasizes personal responsibility in relationships (1 Corinthians 7:39, Proverbs 27:17).
Church leaders should offer wisdom and counsel, but they should never force people into or out of relationships. Paul advised believers on godly relationships but did not control their personal decisions (1 Corinthians 7:25-28). If a pastor tries to control friendships, marriages, or family connections, they are going beyond their biblical role. True leadership respects personal freedom while offering biblical guidance.
Closing Thoughts
A pastor’s role is to serve, guide, and equip the church—not to control it. Jesus modeled servant leadership, never forcing people to follow Him (Mark 10:42-45). When a pastor exercises control through fear, manipulation, or domination, they are not following the biblical model of leadership. A healthy church encourages accountability, personal growth, and spiritual freedom.
If you recognize these warning signs in a pastor, seek God’s wisdom and guidance (James 1:5). Talk to trusted believers, study Scripture, and pray for discernment. No leader should take the place of Christ in your life. A true shepherd points people to Jesus, not to themselves.